Reflection

Ok, maybe I am getting a little "soft", my oldest child is sleeping in his own bed now...it is causing me to reflect about him. He is kind of growing up. Now I know a lot of children never slept with mom and dad, so they have always had their own beds, but my son has always slept with us...this sleeping alone thing is a big step forward for him! Me also, I kind of miss the little guys knees in my back, in some crazy twisted way!
So, we were in our local grocery store the other day and we saw his preschool teacher, (wow, I love preschool...some quiet time!). Anyways, she said "hi" to him and he acted shy. She said "I know you are not shy!". This hit me so big.. she is the only person who has a special relationship with him that I do not have! She knows a side of him I will never see! Sure, they let you come to the class if you would like, but they also guarantee they will act differently! She sees a side of him I have never and will never see! It is so strange. I have been with him, I am thinking literally every waking and sleeping, for that matter, moment of his life! I understand everything he's done, why he's done it and can predict what he is going to do next in almost any situation. Sure, he's stayed at grandma and papa's, but I usually get a pretty detailed and honest report of all the funny things that took place, if he listened, etc. This doesn't happen to the same extent in preschool.
My reflection, I guess, is my baby boy is growing up! He is out there acting independently, doing who knows what, saying who knows what, (hopefully, not some things he's said at home!), acting, playing, etc. and he doesn't have me there correcting him! It is weird, but great at the same time....one thought that keeps going through my mind is "I hope I did a good job!".
We prepare our children for this and the decisions he's making now are so small compared to the big picture, teen yrs., etc. but, he is making independent decisions! It is so bitter sweet....my baby is growing up =( / my baby is growing up =) .....but I do know in my heart, he is making me proud!